So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
