I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
