Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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