Sry I called you an 8
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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