I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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