I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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