Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize