Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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