he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
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You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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