Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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