sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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