You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
