they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
tequila makes me forget i have legs
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
