Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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