last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need a beard to bite.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
