Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize