I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize