Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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