There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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