How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
