summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Randomize
