He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
