In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
