Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
