I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Randomize
