im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
