respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
