I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
