Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
