Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
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Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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