escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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