At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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