is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
