I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
