dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.