whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.