everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
