Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
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