that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.