apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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