would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
