I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm sobbing to NWA
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