There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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