if you like me you must not know who I am
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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