I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
