I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
