honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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