You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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