Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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