The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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