What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
