He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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