Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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