They should really pass out barf bags in church
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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