Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize