Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
