so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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