i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
