oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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