He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
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Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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