zippers are such a cool invention
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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