chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
