Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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