Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I supernannyed him into submission
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
