Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
