All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"