Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.