He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.