Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

You're so nebulous sometimes

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(773): View more from Illinois

There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.

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(810): View more from Michigan

i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said

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(514): View more from Quebec

..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.

(979): View more from Texas

I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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(305): View more from Florida

I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...

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