I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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