I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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