I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
