dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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