So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
