Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
