we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
